Finding beauty

Do you know what you love? What brings you joy? What is it that you find beautiful?
   I believe that we should live in a world in which we have the freedom to explore a great range of options until we realise what it is that we love. We should experience the wonderful things that life has to offer and say, "That's what I like," or, "I want to do that," but too often we are raised in either an absence of love or the presence of fear, so we do things in order to find love or avoid punishment.
   I am thankful that I have the opportunity to discover what it is that I love, because when I am with the people I love, or do the things am passionate about or simply appreciate the things I find beautiful, then I give all of myself and bring joy not only to my own soul but to others.
   As humans we naturally seek beauty. We appreciate it, enjoy it, are amazed by it, and (when we put our minds to it) create it, because I believe we are designed to be creative (in many different ways) to make beautiful things. Of course to me, this beauty, whether created by me or someone else, should always direct me to give honour, not to the thing I find beautiful, or to myself or to anyone else, but to the one who made all things, including beauty, and did it without having anything to copy or draw inspiration from, but purely by expressing himself created what he found beautiful. This is God, who loved us so much that he sent a part of himself, his son, to perform the most beautiful act in history in the ugliest way, dying for all humanity on a cross and allowing us to live in freedom from death.
   It is impossible to fully understand God or his actions, but I believe that he made me and that he loves what I love and that he loves what you love, and maybe if we piece together everything that everyone loves we will have a better understanding of this mysterious and beautiful God.


(My thanks to Paul Manwaring who put some of these thoughts, which I guess I have had for years but not been able to express, into words a few weeks back)

Sketching - Part 3

Early attempts at drawing birds

 

 

 

No longer alone

This follows on from a post earlier this month: When Peter woke up

The little boat drifted across the smooth waters making barely a ripple as Peter gently steered in the direction he had chosen. The view did not change, but Peter grew neither tired nor bored of his activity. The sky remained black, or perhaps very dark blue, as it had been when he awoke; the dawn held back by some mysterious force. Peter could not mark the passing hours because time seemed to have stopped, or disappeared altogether, so instead he numbered the strokes of his oar until he lost count and then he began again.

            Again and again Peter dipped and pulled gently to help the boat continue on, until at last there came a change on the distant horizon. A speck, a spike, a shadow against the shadowy sky. Peter rested his oar and let the boat drift slowly. Having been alone for so long he wasn’t sure how he felt about any change that might be ahead. He had become comfortable with his surroundings and was protective of his solitude. The dark object, however, grew larger and clearly it too was floating on this endless sea. It was also headed directly towards Peter.
            The object grew and took shape, and whether because it made sense or because somehow he had expected it, Peter knew that it was a ship. A vessel of impressive proportions with sails unfurled catching a wind that Peter could not feel.
            Then came the shout, followed by other voices, distant but clear. They called to each other, and to him. ‘Peter! Peter.’
            How do they know my name, Peter wondered. For he did not know that his boat, bore his name on either side of the prow.
            ‘Peter!’ came the call again, ‘come and join us.’
            The ship was now very close, and even in the semi-darkness, Peter could make out figures on the deck peering over the edge. There was a clatter as a ladder was lowered over the side and it was then that Peter began to feel that the time had come to leave his boat. Protection of his solitude slipped away and a sudden desire to be with other people arose and he dipped his oar to move towards the ship. This time though, nothing happened. The boat did not move, it was as though it had run aground.
            Another voice called from above him, ‘The boat won’t come any nearer, you have to walk the rest of the way.’
            This at once sounded absurd and perfectly natural to Peter and he stowed the oars back in the bottom of the boat before swinging his legs over the edge. Apprehensively he pushed himself up as his feet felt the water beneath them. Standing now beside his boat he looked down, marvelling at this new wonder. Then he took a step and finding himself still above the water he began walking silently across to the ship.

Nearly lost a finger

Today I found out why schools supply such poor quality scissors to their pupils. It is not for the children's safety, but for the teachers', who must bear the brunt of ill timed cutting manoeuvres. A small child nearly removed one of my fingers this afternoon in a moment of inattention, which seem to be becoming quite common, worryingly. Admittedly, at first I didn't think she'd done any more than trap my innocent digit between the edges of the blunted implement, but I discovered later that she had actually drawn blood. It's fine, though. I have lived to tell the tale. Maintaining their focus for the few hours between lunch and home time, however, seems to be getting harder by the day.

When Peter Woke Up

Peter awoke. He was lying, slightly squashed, on his back, with his knees together and his feet marginally higher than the rest of his body. The hard surface beneath him was uncomfortable, but he didn’t feel like moving just yet. Maybe because he was too tired, or because he was enjoying looking at the stars. The sky, however, was not black and Peter thought to himself, ‘dawn’s coming’.
            He continued to lie where he was, in peaceful surrender. There was barely a sound and it seemed to him that the place where he lay rocked slowly from side to side. His ears picked up the gentle lapping of waves, and, despite his position, Peter soon fell asleep once more.
            When he opened his eyes for a second time, the grey, half-light, that comes in the moment before the dawn, was still there. The fading stars hung above him as before and Peter wondered if he had been asleep for a whole day. This didn’t worry him, indeed he had no cares at all. His only thought was, ‘I’m here,’ but his brain didn’t register what that meant.
            After a while, when he decided he wasn’t going to fall asleep again Peter thought he would sit up, so he did. That was his first surprise and led to his first serious question. “Where am I?” he asked aloud. A sensible question given what he saw; and what he saw was water. Lots of it. On every side the ripples stretched out into the darkness. Unfortunately his star-gazing skills had never been taken beyond finding the ‘Plough’ and ‘Orion’s belt’, so while the answer to his question might have been found in the skies Peter wasn’t going to get it.
            He looked a little distrustfully at the water, but he wasn’t afraid, more intrigued. He reached out a finger and dipped it in the water, but drew it back quickly because of the cold. Watching the drops fall from his finger onto the bottom of the boat, for if you are at sea then you must have a boat, a second thought struck him. Why wasn’t he cold all over? All he had on was a light top and loose, three-quarter length trousers. He didn’t even have anything on his feet.
            Finding no obvious explanation for this either Peter looked about some more and then at the little boat. A plain, wooden vessel that you might find on a small lake, but not at sea. Peter was glad that the water was so calm.
            Feeling about, he found the only other thing, besides himself, in the boat – a pair of oars. While the situation still made no sense, Peter did the only logical thing. Fitting the oars into the rowlocks, he dipped and pulled and the little boat glided smoothly across the water.

Reflections on Pilgrimage

So this is kind of delayed, but I've been a bit busy, so here are some thoughts on the Bath Abbey Pilgrimage 2014.

The Bible is full of people travelling from one region to another, but one of the least known journeys is that of Abram. Already well on in years Abram heard the call of God while living in a place called Ur (I haven't forgotten, that is actually it's name). Abram did not have the Bible to find out who this God was and in fact how he knew it was God calling him is something of a mystery. Nevertheless he packed his bags and set off around the desert, passing through the mighty city of Babylon and along the rivers making up the Fertile Crescent. He continued all the way to Egypt some 1500 miles away.
     God did not just call him to go on major hike, but promised him that he would be blessed with a Land, a Nation and Offspring as numerous as the stars. For Abram (who became Abraham on the journey) to believe in a God that no-one knew anything about, was one thing, but to have faith that he would inherit a beautiful land, become the leader of a nation and, most of all, have children, when at the time he had none, is mind blowing.
     Abraham had to learn who God is and many times he tried to take matters into his own hands when his trust in God wavered. God was always faithful though, and settled him in the land of Canaan, which is today Israel. Then, when Abraham was 100, his wife gave birth to a son, from whom the nation of the Israelites came.

This was the story we followed as we also travelled to our home, and we, like Abraham, came to learn more of who God is along the way. We discovered more of His love, peace and joy; we hoped and trusted in Him and He did not let us down.
     The Pilgrimage does not end there, though, it continues on in our everyday lives. The world may not have changed, but we have and it is up to us to live in this new understanding of God.

You’re the joy, joy, joy lighting my soul,

the joy, joy, joy making me whole.
Though I'm broken, I am running
into your arms of love.
          (Joy, Rend Collective)

Easter

I can't believe quite how much I've fitted into the past 15 days, but this is how they went:

Shot home straight from school on Friday 4th, the first time I'd been back since New Year, and had a relatively pleasant 5 days of relaxing, mixed with getting my head around my 3rd essay. A trip to the dentist revealed that I've got to have a tooth pulled out in the not too distant future, but brushing over that, I also wandered over to Nottingham to watch an afternoon of cricket at Trent Bridge, my favourite way to unwind.

 

 

After returning to Bath on Wednesday 9th, I met my mentor to plan the coming term, much of which I will be teaching. Then it was back to the essay before Epidemic Life put me in the mood for Holy Week. A mixed weekend of Spirit-filled worship and brain-numbing writing ensued and passed at the speed of light, but it was fine because there was still another week to go!

 

Then it was a delightful return to Bath Abbey for the annual, Holy Week Pilgrimage, this year from Crosscombe to Bath. We could not of timed it better, or God could not have blessed us more. Four days of perfect weather, beautiful landscape and the best company I could wish to walk with, followed and filled me with peace, hope and joy.

 

Sadly four days of not working in the world of education can set you back a long way and on Thursday 17th I returned to my desk with some degree of panic. Since then it has been early starts (I work best at around 7am) and tiring afternoons as I try to bring this essay into some kind of order, as well as planning out my lessons for next week! I feel this is a sad way to spend Easter weekend, the most special and glorious of the Christian calendar, but sometimes, I guess, these things have to be done.

Thanks to much support, mostly in the way of prayer, I'm now feeling more peaceful, and with the sun shining again and the Classic fm Hall of Fame on the radio there are worse ways to end a holiday.

I hope your Easter has been as blessed, although not quite so busy, as mine, and that you have had time to stop and wonder again on death and resurrection of Jesus and on His great love for you.