The Complaint

Gary had had enough and he grumbled to himself as he stomped his way to the complaints department. Nothing ever seemed to go right anymore and he was determined that he was going to get someone to do something about his latest problem. The complaints department had their own lobby, which was sparsely furnished and had a few boring pictures on the walls. On entering it Gary noticed he was faced with three doors. The first had a plaque that read, “Complaints for people who are just a bit annoyed.” The second door’s plaque said, “Complaints for people who want to have a rant.” While on the third door’s plaque was written, “Complaints for people who have a well reasoned argument.”
            Gary stood for a moment, perplexed; then a voice from behind him said, ‘Are you all right, Sir?’
            Gary spun round and came face to face with a well dressed man of medium height and build, who was smiling at him in a very pleasant way.
            ‘Well, it’s just that,’ began Gary looking again at the doors, ‘this wasn’t exactly what I expected, and I’m not quite sure which door I need.’
            ‘It sounds like you’re just a bit annoyed, Sir,’ said the man. ‘You want the first one.’
            ‘I’m more than annoyed,’ came back Gary, a little more loudly than he’d intended.
            ‘All right, Sir, if you’re angry maybe the second door would be best.’
            ‘I don’t want to have a rant,’ said Gary, ‘I want to make a genuine complaint.’
            ‘Ah, well then I guess you have a well reasoned argument, Sir. It’s the third door for you.’
            Gary looked sheepish. ‘Well, I wouldn’t say it’s that detailed.’
            ‘Hmm,’ replied the man, ‘may I ask what your complaint is about, Sir, maybe I could help that way?’
            ‘Err… I can’t even remember any more.’
            ‘Well then, Sir, I suggest you go away and think about it. If it’s important you could always write us a letter so that we can file it.’
            ‘Yes, that sounds like a good idea, I might do that. Thank you’
            ‘Not at all, Sir. Goodbye.’
            ‘Goodbye,’ said Gary, and left.

The man watched him walk away then crossed the lobby and taking the second door at random entered a large room filled with comfy chairs, tables of food and several guys sitting around discussing the latest football results. He headed for the drinks table and on the way over called out, ‘Oi, David, you lazy git. It’s your turn to head the next bloke off.’